Eternity 5?
by Ally K
Summary: Jack tries to tell Sam how he feels.....


TITLE: Eternity (5/?) AUTHOR: Ally K EMAIL: sunshineslayerhotmail.com ARCHIVE: fanfiction.net, CATEGORY: POV, Angst, S/J, SPOILERS: SEASON/SEQUEL: 6- sequel to series entitled 'Mine' RATING: PG CONTENT WARNINGS: Just a bit of bad language. SUMMARY: Jack tries to tell Sam how he feels....... DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story and idea is mine, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ok, I'm so sorry that its taken so long but I just had some major exams but now they're over I've got lots of free time so I'll try and not keep you all waiting for so long again. Thank you for the feedback, it is much appreciated. Give me feedback for this and tell me what you think!  
  
Eternity 5/?  
  
#Jack#  
  
I can't express how I feel right now. Feeling a million different emotions at once: guilt, anger, relieved but most of all love. Seeing her awake, brought up all the love I have for her and now I don't want to keep it under wraps but how do I tell her? What if she doesn't feel the same, what if I waited too long?  
  
What if she hates me, after all she was broken and bruised before she took the bullet for me? I just made it worse. Then again she wouldn't have taken the bullet if she hadn't cared, would she? Let me add confused, to my mixed emotions cause I'm definitely that. Our relationship, whatever that is, has always been complex. The regulations of course not making it at all easier, if not impossible. Yet, if she doesn't feel the same way, then I'm just gonna.......have to get over it. Cause if I don't tell her soon, I swear the men in white coats will be coming for me. I just have to face my fears and tell her.  
  
I mean its Sam, I've known her for 6 years and it can't be that bad. I mean I've been tortured, had a symbiot in me (which I really hated, particularly when it took me over and I lost god knows how many days, anyway not the point), transferred into Teal'c's body, and believe me that was an experience. Yet, none of those felt hard compared to this. The feeling of rejection, that's an adolescent feeling or a drunken one, not one that I want to experience now. Anyway, this is different. It's her. She's the one, whether I'm the 'one' for her, well that's the problem.  
  
No I just have to do it, sooner rather than later. Yep moving now. Feet refusing to cooperate, move, still refusing. Wait, what am I going to say? Hey, Sam or should I say Carter, feels more natural, anyway, 'you know those regulations that have kept us apart for as long as I've known you. Want to break them and probably lose our jobs?' Yep, she'll love that. Maybe just go for short and simple. 'What about screwing the regs' I mean we deserve it right? For crying out loud she nearly died that's got to count for at least a kiss to be ignored regarding regulations wise, right?  
  
Ok, think sensibly. Is that even possible for me? Jack, this is important, your future remember. Right, Sam I've loved you ever since I met you. True, but sounds so corny! Great, I was never the most romantic of people, I was good at the gestures but words aren't my forte. I'm an action man! Right, lets try and amend that. The truth, what about that? I love you Sam and if you feel the same way...  
  
"O'Neill?"  
  
Huh? Oh right Teal'c. "Yes?"  
  
"Major Carter was asking for you, she says she hasn't seen you in a few days."  
  
Damn, now she probably thinks I don't care. Ok, really not good at this relationship thing. "I've been busy." Ok, Lame excuse.  
  
Teal'c merely looks at my desk and sees that I've done no work, and rolls his eyes. "With other things" I tell him. Teal'c just stand there. "Anything else?"  
  
"General Hammond would like a word with you."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now."  
  
"Ok, that would have been helpful before, see you later T." I leave him in my office, as he's still not budging.  
  
I knock on Hammond's door. "Its Colonel O'Neill"  
  
"Come in." I enter. "Ah Jack, I thought it was best you talk to Major Carter about her kidnapping. The court needs evidence to convict Dr Lydeker."  
  
Bastard. "I can give a testimony, surely pictures and Fraiser's testimony about Carter's injury should be enough to put him away, right? I just think she's been through enough and won't really want to relive it." I want to save her from something, if I had got they're sooner. It wouldn't have been so bad...  
  
Hammond sighs. "I know you want to protect her, and I can understand why." What is that meant to mean? "But I think the best way to ensure this criminal gets the full punishment is for her to tell us what happened. You know that he was exonerated from murder before."  
  
Dammit, it's going to hurt her even more but if he gets off again and comes after her......son of a....I've just got to say it to her. It could help her talking to someone about it. Should that person be me? Why not Janet she always knows what to say and she's friends with Sam....Stop avoiding her...least you've got something else to say now at least. Ok, here goes. Now feet cooperate this time, otherwise this could take forever.  
  
My heart stops as I open the door and see her. She still looks so pale even though it's been days. I can't believe I've waited so long. I'm so selfish, why would she ever like me? Ok going off the point...  
  
"Hi" is that the best you can come up with?  
  
She smiles and tries to sit up, but winces. When I see her in pain, it makes me want to tell her everything will be ok and promise he'll never hurt her again. Yet, the words don't form.  
  
"Still hurting?" Ok what is with the lame talking?  
  
"Yeah, it's slowly getting better." She's staring at me, and looks almost as uncomfortable as I feel. "Why haven't you been to see me in days?"  
  
I can't answer it. I can't say it. Its wrong, majorly wrong as in court- martial wrong but...... "I'm sorry, I've been busy". Ok that's a lie. My paperwork is as usual untouched, as all I can think about is her. "I know this is hard but I need you to tell me what happened when you were kidnapped. The courts need it to convict him, after last time...."  
  
She seems even paler. "Last time?" she asked nervously.  
  
Oh my god she doesn't know. Great Jack, way to make a bad situation worse. "He was believed to have murdered someone......"  
  
Tears stream down her face. "Sam" I move closer, desperate to hold her. "He's locked up and he's going to stay that way. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."  
  
She looks up at me so vulnerable. I hate seeing her this way, she's usually so strong. "But I need you to tell me what happened so I can tell the military and make sure he gets everything he deserves."  
  
"Jack" my heart skips a beat. "I don't want to, he...did so much.."  
  
"I know, but it might help to talk. Let it out?"  
  
She lowers her head and takes a deep breathe, and avoids my gaze. "I still can't forget his face, and the way he suddenly hit me. He just seemed so calm till out of the blue he'd attack me but the worse was........" tears stream down her face. "He raped me."  
  
That bastard will pay for what's he's done..........  
  
TBC email me for the next part. 


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